true story[sept 17 2010]

today is friday! as students, we all love friday cuz it is the last day of d sch for d week.. moreover, d next day, we can wake up later.. the best part is dismissal on friday is at 12noon! well, here was wat happened..

that friday, due to early dismissal, i usually stayed back for awhile to chat wit my frens.. we would talk, laugh n enjoy ourselves fooling around.. that friday, one of my fren, kelly treated us a banana cake which she had baked.. after eating, another fren, wen qi asked me to help her solve some maths questions..

while solvong the maths quest i felt tired n sleepy.. i tot it was due to my late nite studying history for my trials examination.. i rubbed my eyes... suddenly i felt breathless! i tried my best to breathe as hard as possible but it became worse.. my frens asked some BSMM gals to help me.. they brought me to an open space so dat i could breathe..

i tot i would get better after dat, but it became worse.. my body started to swell n bcame red.. i could not even speak properly at dat moment.. my fren contacted my sis to pick me up in sch.. wen my sis came, she immediately send me to hospital..

i was in d emergency room.. nurses around me were trying to save my life... they kept talking to me.. i was trying hard to breathe and i could nt speak.. one of the nurse gave me a plastic bag n asked me to breathe into it, but it did nt help.. my tears fell.. den a doctor came.. my blood pressure was very high n my heartbeat was very fast..

at dat time, i felt dat i wanted to fall asleep... d doctor kept asking me to open my eyes... the nurse gave me an injecttion, put on an oxygen mask fo me and poked a needle on my left hand for d drips.. it hurts! however, i could nt do anything.. a while ltr, i started to feel oxygen flowing in my lungs.. my body was still swollen n red... slowly, i was able to ans d quest frm d nurses..

i had to stay in d hosp for a day... d doc said i was allergic to banana as i ate a banana cake jz rite b4 this happen.. my fren, kelly felt bad n guilty.. i was oso told dat if d allergic is serious.. d next time it happens, i hv to give myself an injection... i hv to alwiz bring some medication along wherever i go.. dis is scary! i was trying my best to accept d fact dat it can be so serious.. wen my blood test reports out, i was act allergic to seafood n dust.. ntg to do wit banana.. weird...

well, i almost died that friday! however, i am fine n i thank god i am still alive.. dat friday, was a nightmare!! death was so close.. thank godness, i was alright!

p.s. d prove is at my fb photos.. haha.. i was lying on d bed in d hosp.. n dis story i wrote for my trials eng paper...

change

well... i feel dat i've change... i've change to a bad person.. i jz dono y... i dun feel like studying... trials cuming... i reli dono wats d matter to me... and i make troubles... i guess... i not sure... herm.. things around me makes me change u noe.. i jz dono y.. i treat ppl well they dun appreciate it... many many times it happen... dats all dat makes me change... i dun complain last time.. but now i do.. bcz i think its not fair.. haih.. how am i suppose to say.. i'm confuse rite now... everything its jz so messy.... i'm tired of my life.. i feel like wanna die.. my life now its like "wateva"... i think dats y i dowan study... n making troubles...

frens betryed... i blieve dis kind of things happen to all of u too.. i treat them well... i dint think of wanna compare u n me... whr which one is more pro in dis or dat... but y r u comparing wit me?? sumone trying to be like me... wat i do d fela do.. "hahaha.. very funny".. u think wat? u jealous i got more frens than u? i tell u wat... i dono y i got so many frens oso... n i got more frens than u.. not say i berlagak n go around n tell ppl.. eh.. i got alot of frens than u le.. u useless one la.. dis n dat... eh.. cum on man.. i wont so free go do all dis stuff.. u noe wat?? last time i dun say ppl bad thing bhind their back... but ppl make me do it!! so bad huh me... its jz bcz of d ppl around me!!! ppl say bad things about me.. go ahead.. bcz now i've learn dat too!! hu say mine i'll say urs!! all these things happen makes me dun blieve of dis word "best fren"... i dun blieve thr's any best fren in dis world.. seriously is a NO.. cuz my heart hurts so many times.. non of a fren can makes me treat them as my best fren anymore... thr is only "fren" in my world... n y do ppl wanna act?? cum on man.. be urself la u ... dun nid to act dis n dat... trying to make ppl like u... n like dis u hv more frens huh... wat d hell... i think i go hell better than to see u act sial... besides.. wateva i do... sure got ppl judging me... if they see i do anything wrong only... go report... den i kena... den wen i very guai dat time??? huh??!!! at dat time u blind la heh... wen i do sumthing wrong den u suddenly can see la... wat d hell???

tchers... last time... i respect all d tchers... will greet all of them... start from F3... i see all d colours... haha..... after dat... i dun reli respect anymore... i trying to help u... n u say i making troubles... wtf!! n i cant blieve dat tchers dunno how to differentiate wat is 'work' n wat is 'personal business'... i've been so hard working all these while.. wen it cums to my duty... i do well... but wat u judge me is not my duty... my personal issue?? hell... go n judge hell den... wat i do is jz so nt worth.. i treat frens well, i treat tchers well, i do my job wel... and all dis is jz nt worth... very dissapointed wit d ppl around me... even tchers.. haih... i'm not asking u to be perfect... i nt perfect either... jz dun do til u betry all those stuf.. not fair in doin decision... dats y i said... dis world is jz so fucking nt fair!! ntg is fair in dis world... ntg!!! i hate it man.. reli..

i dono wat shud i do... i trying to change bek to d better me.. nt dis bad me... haih... things around makes me change...

p.s leave me alone..

retire...

today i retire frm tkd club.. sad lurh... so today hv a meeting choose new committee.. i start d meeting oni got ppl cry liao.. haha. u noe hu u are... xp... i see her cry.. i tahan... den wen choosing i feel like crying man.. i reli heart dis tkd club alot.. n so d members.. i feel like i cant let go... i jz... haih... den after fin choosing.. wen i start to talk... they group hug me i start to cry man.. i cry le... unbelievable sial... herm.. i reli heart my tkd club n d members alot.. maybe dey dun feel it... but i reli luv them... i make them as a special tkd family... evryone starts to call me biggy daddy... i walk go toilet aftr they release me frm d group hug.. i went into d toilet n cry... i think all of them folo me to d toilet.. they waited outside.. i 1st time see ppl cry wen d senior retire... herm... i reli dunno i will b dis sad oso... herm... i hv done my job of take caring them... i put my hard work in it... i face btw master, tchers n members... problems frm master... problems frm tchers.. problems frm members... i'm tired... but i do it wit my heart to try to solve it... n now dat i'm nt in tkd club... i feel so... nt use to... if nt master i wont stop at all even spm starts... herm... i hope all of d tkd members will do their best!!

p.s i reli luv each and every one of u in tkd club

the way~

thr's sumthin bout d way

u look tonite

thr's sumthin bout d way dat

i cant take my eyes off u

thr's sumthin bout d way

ur lips invite

maybe is d way dat

i get nervous wen ur around

and i want u to be mine

if u need a reason y

it's in d way dat u move me

n d way dat u tease me

d way dat i want u tonite

it's in d way dat u hold me

n d way dat u noe me

wen i cant find d right words to say

u feel it in d way

ohh

u feel it in d way

thr's sumthin bout how u stay on my mind

thr's sumthin bout d way dat

i whisper ur name wen i'm asleep, oh gal

maybe it's d look u get in ur eyes

oh baby it's d way dat

makes me feel to see u smile

n d reason they may change

but wat i'm feeling stays d same

it's in d way dat u move me

n d way dat u tease me

d way dat i wan u tonite

it's in d way dat u hold me

n d way dat u noe me

wen i cant find d right words to say

u feel it in d way

ohh

u feel it in d way

i cant put my fingers on

jz wat it is dat makes me

love you, you baby

so dun ask me to describe

i'll get all choked up inside

jz thinking bout d way

it's in d way dat u move me

n d way dat u tease me

d way dat i wan u tonite(tonite)

it's in d way dat u hold me

(d way u hold me)

n d way dat u noe me

(d way u noe me)

wen i cant find d rite words to say

(u feel it in d way)

it's in d way dat u move me

n d way dat u tease me

d way

(u feel it in d way)

thr's sumthin bout d way u look tonite

thr's ntg more to say dat

i feel it in d way

p.s nice song!! sing by clay aiken.. title is d way

Long........

hello dude!! long time nvr blog blog ad.. haha.. well.. many things happen.. haih... dunno how to list down.. lazy wanna list down.. and i hate 2nd of may!!!!!!!!!!! bored now....

p.s leo hate ppl dun trust them.. i'm leo.. i hate ppl dun trust me..

random..

i've change my song.. hehe.. load very slow la... d title "kidnap my heart" enjoy... nothing special.. very bored.... random emotional...

p.s what i hear when you don't say a thing...
ronan keating-when you say nothing at all...

i'm hv a few dream recently... those dream makes me feel very unwell... last few weeks i cant slp well but no dream.. but recently... those dream came... very dun feel gud... but yesterday d dream reli reli makes me feel so uneasy... nobody can comfort me or accompany me.. i try to tell my fren but my fren laugh at me.. den she said nothin will happen... but dis dream reli makes me very very uneasy... it's freaking me out... i dowan to talk about my dream here cuz i dowan ppl laugh at me here... i jz write out here cuz nobody can comfort me n listen to me.. act y do i feel so uneasy.. cuz as i mention b4 year 2010 is not my year... reli unlucky.. i'm scad... reli very uneasy..... another thing happen... 2010 reli freaking me out!! wat's happening??

p.s my mind is blank...

erm......

wow. d last post of mine was jan.. n now is march!!! buzy buzy.. now a bit free cuz after sports day.. haha.. next will be my mssm n campfire!!!! wiil start busy soon.. now got time den i'll write n say.. hello peeps!!! long time din update ad.. haha..

sports day... me green hse... green hse marching team last minute find those ppl to march.. tot will get last.. but v got 3rd!! haha... i've heard ppl said durng our sports day d temperature was 40degree!! wow.. so damn hot.. after dat all of us got sunburn!! so burn!! my sisters tot i'm drunk dat day cuz my whole face red red even my hand... overall blue hse won.. green get 2nd.. don say blue hse always d winners after u noe ds year our sport day's result.. cuz dis year got oni running event.. no high jump, long jump, lontar all dat.. if all dis got in d sport day.. i tell u.. i comfirm green hse will win dis year... haha..

well.. 2010 its not my year.. as i said it many times ad... very malang.. ppl said after cny will be better.. now its juz rigth after d cny.. i'll see den.. dis year important year for me.. hope wont so shui anymore!!

p.s i beleve god is great...

pieces

hello everyone!! kinda took me a long time to update my blog huh.. well.. its reali bzy and its juz so irritating.. i dun hv some time to do some personal things.. aish.. well, bek to sch's life.. in a NEW year.. i tot its all new.. but stil same.. all those ppl never change.. n bcum worse.. i already hv no strength to defend myself anymore.. i maybe juz let all those ppl attack me without defending them.. cum on.. seriously shut up is d best way.. all these while i nvr shut up cuz i dowan to be UN-me.. haih.. anything la, i reli no strength ad..

[i tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it.. no one blieve me.. i meant all the things i said.. if you blive it's, i'd say all the words that i noe, if dun blive, i think i'm better off on my own..]

i modified some from a song..

sum41-pieces..

the whole song its my feeling now..

p.s shut up like a dog.. un-me..

sch reopen

wat the hell!! herm.. act 1st day of sch wasn't so bad for me la.. but i dint bring d text book to return.. so i cant get d F5's text books.. the 2nd kinda bad for me la.. slpy, dowan study, ran here n thr, bzy.. phew.. jz not gud for me.. n i'm d QM head.. oh my gosh..

well, sch starts.. the one hour oso not relly hving it.. herm.. killing me.. haih..

p.s enjoy in sch guys

new year

its a new year now.. wahseh.. few more days sch reopen.. oh hell.. goin bek into jail.. face those teachers.. aish.. damn it... i'm not ready for sch yet.. i not yet do my holiday hw le.. i never even take a look at it.. dat day i went bek sch to arrange chairs for d F1 registration thingy.. bm tcher asked me wheter i hv fin my hw... so... wat else i say?? haha.. i jz simply say "sudah" haha.. dun care.. come on.. its holidays.. giv us a real holiday la.. aish.. i dowan bek to sch.... all d gud gud tchers transfer makes me lagi dun feel like goin sch lurh..

so um.. i dun think 2010 is a gud year for me.. new year eve n new year doesn't nota gud day for me.. sumthing happen.. starting of d year already like dat.. wish me luck la heh.. i'm F5 ad.. my frens!! we r all F5 ad.. yesterday after countdown reach home about 2am.. i cant slp after bathe cuz sumthing happen la.. so i sat on my sofa til about 4am.. oni i go to my bed n sleep.. today woke up about 10am.. cant slp bek.. i'm tired but cant sleep.. keep thinking about d thing.. i just dint noe wat to do.. so.. i'm tired today.. now nite blogging la.. m.. tmr start wen hua tkd class liao.. everything start again.. haih.. i muz get ready man.. but i'm not ready 4 sch seriously..

p.s feel so unwell wen sch gonna reopen..