What's in my heart? This.

See I can't wake up

I'm living a nightmare

That keeps playing over again

Locked in a room

So hung up on you

And you're cool with just being friends

Left on the sidelines

Stuck at a red light

Waiting for my time

And I can't see

Why don't you love me?

Touch me

Tell me I'm your everything

The air you breathe

And why don't you love me?

Baby

Open up your heart tonight

Cuz I could me all that you need

Ohhhh

Why don't you love me?

Why don't you love me?

See I'm just to scared

To tell you the truth

Cuz my heartache can't take anymore

Broken and bruised

Longing for you

And I don't know what I'm waiting for

Left on the sidelines

Stuck at a red light

Waiting for my time

So just tell me

Why don't you love me?

Touch me

Tell me I'm your everything

The air you breathe

And why don't you love me?

Baby

Open up your heart tonight

Cuz I could be all that you need

Ohhh

Why don't you give me a reason?

(Give me a reason)

Please tell me the truth

(Please tell me the truth)

You know that I'll keep believing

(I'll keep believing)

Till I'm with you

Why don't you love me?

Kiss me

I can feel your heart tonight

It's killing me

So why don't you love me?

Touch me

Tell me I'm your everything

The air you breathe

And why don't you love me?

Baby

Open up your heart tonight

Cuz i could be all that you need

Ohhhhh

Why don't you love me? x5

Well, yes. It's a song and it says it all what's in my mind now.
Hot Chelle Rae ft Demi Lovato ~ Why Don't You Love Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kznkmWy-Q0

I wrote all the lyrics out cuz it's really from the bottom of my heart. I wanted to dedicate this song to you but I don't know when it's the right time to do so and I decided to blog it out cuz
it's really killing me.

Why didn't I highlight the sentence

"why don't you give me a reason"?

because, you gave me 2 reasons already.

1. you are straight.

(although I still believing maybe someday you'll change your mind just for me?)

(I know I'm a fool here)

2. you didn't want any relationship now.

Other reasons you probably will tell me.

(although you haven't tell me, it's my thoughts)

I know if you were to choose to be with me, it's so difficult to face your family. Sometimes, I did think about getting an orphan to be mine so that she can accept me for who I am and no need to face her family. I know I'm selfish but I'm really done being hurt again and again. Other than all these, I really don't know why don't you give us a chance. Or maybe, you mind how other people look at you or us? Yea, probably you mind. It shows you don't love me because you can't accept me for who I am.

You're cool with just being friends.

Probably because we have been friends and I would say, we were really a close friends for quite some time.

About 2 years?

Yea, for those of you who doesn't know, I've a crush on her for about 2 years and she only knows it recently plus it's I confessed only she know. She is damn donkey like I always called her DONKEY! We are now still a very close friends, we text, talk on the phone, skype, hang out, etc like we used to for the past 2 years.

IT'S REALLY KILLING ME.

Is this a test?? I don't know.

I kept thinking, what if this is a test? and I'll fail the test if I choose to give up.

If is not test, I know its killing you too for having me hanging here.

If it's not a test, I do hope my love for you will fade and just love you as a friend.

I want you to tell me the truth but I'm really scared to know the truth.

If only it's a good news for me then I wouldn't mind listening to the truth for all my life.

P.s. I love you